Forgiveness Through Contact
by HippyWhippy
Summary: I don't even know how to summarize this. It's Crow X Kiryu, that's all you need to know.


"Crow? C'mon, wake up."  
Crow whined tiredly. "Or, here's a thought. _You _could get _in _the bed."  
Sighing, Kiryu stared at his former teammate in disbelief. When he 'came back' and helped create Satisfaction Town, he had specifically told Crow, 'I'm sorry, but I can't be with you. I have to spend my life making up for the things I've done.'  
Naturally, Crow's response was to swear at him, quite a bit, and then with no warning at all, move in with him.  
It was pretty good, though. Predictably, Crow doted on Nico and West. He was helpful, always willing to run an errand, build something, fix something.  
But then of course, there were these constant flirtatious moments. Walking around the house in nothing but his boxers, calling to Kiryu in his damn bedroom voice.  
Kiryu couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that he had, especially when he looked at Crow. Although Yusei had been the target of his revenge when he was a dark signer, he'd made hundreds of people suffer to achieve it. He'd made Crow suffer just by _leaving_, not that he'd had much choice at the time. He could never amend for the thing's he'd done. Not in four lifetimes. But he could do as much as possible to fix his mistakes. Helping to raise Nico and West was one of those things.  
Crow was just a distraction, but a damn good one.  
"Seriously, you can't sleep all day."  
Snorting, Crow opened one eye to look at him. "Oh, I see how it is. Bears can hibernate and it's 'part of nature', but when _I _do it, it's 'unhealthy' and 'antisocial'."  
Kiryu grinned. "You're not a bear, Crow." He expected him to make another smart-ass comment, but instead he started, eyes wide, before sitting up quickly. "What?"  
"I'll get up, now." Crow muttered, not looking him in the eye.  
Surprised, Kiryu raised an eyebrow. "Hey, that was easy. Why the sudden change of heart?"  
"It's just…" Crow looked up at him, and unreadable look on his face. "…How could I say no to you when you look at me like _that_?"  
He was kinda taken aback. "Look at you like what? This is how I always look…?"  
Crow shook his head. "Kiryu, that's the first time you've smiled at me since… yeah."  
Kiryu blinked at him. "Oh."  
Over the next week or so, it was hard to say who was more flirtatious. Crow was being his usual self, trying to convince Kiryu that it didn't matter, that they could be together, and Kiryu was testing to see just how powerful of an effect his smile had on Crow. He didn't smile too often, anyway, but when he asked Crow to do something, accompanied with that smiled, he'd comply immediately, staring at him longingly.  
It was manipulation, sure, but he was just testing it.  
On the other hand, Crow's advances were becoming too much to handle; someone between realizing his smile basically had the power to turn him into his servant, and Crow cooking him breakfast in nothing but his jocks, Kiryu started to change his mind about the whole, 'I need to be alone forever' thing. Well, maybe they didn't have to be _together, _together. But things could be like the old days.  
Just not _too much _like the old days.

Things got _too much_ like the old days.  
Crow could feel Kiryu's tongue lashing at the back of his throat, and he discarded his jacket somewhere between the front door and the kitchen. Kiryu's shirt was gone between the kitchen table and the bedroom.  
Crow's pants were gone between the bedroom door and the bed, which is where he pulled off Kiryu's pants hurriedly, too. He was moving quickly; maybe he was scared Kiryu was going to change his mind, (Which he most probably was).  
Or maybe he was just really, really horny.  
Either way, he'd starting giving head before Kiryu could say anything. The sight of Crow kneeling in front of him, naked, caressing his dick, was something Kiryu had missed. It drove him nuts. He wanted a camera. He could survive alone his entire life if he had a photo of _that _to jerk of to.  
Crow lowered his mouth to his dick, licking his lips. Kiryu swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. Then, Crow took him in his mouth, stroking the sensitive underside of his dick with his tongue, making him moan.  
"Mmmm." Crow muttered, kissing the tip. "I hope you've missed this like I have, Kiryu."  
Truthfully? Yeah, he had.  
He kissed up his whole length, taking it in his mouth again after, as far down as he could. Kiryu whined and bucked his hips, and Crow adjusted, managing not to gag. He was too used to the feeling to gag. Rotating his head slightly and doing what was probably freaky things with his tongue, Crow had already bought Kiryu so, so close to the edge.  
He hadn't done this in _sooooo_ long. He'd barely even touched himself. He'd been too busy, or too tired, or just not in the mood.  
But whenever he did, he thought of Crow.  
Cupping his balls, Crow whimpered, and Kiryu shuddered and came. They were probably both a little out of practice, but Crow took it all pretty well. He swallowed thickly, and Kiryu seemingly remembered that they were both naked. He tried to help Crow stand, but he seemed content where he was.  
"You're an idiot." He told him, voice a little thicker and huskier than usual. Damn. "How could you possibly deny me this for so long?"  
Kiryu stroked his cheek. "Until I forgive myself, I don't want you to forgive me. You're too understanding, Crow."  
Crow moved into the touch. "That's too bad, Kiryu. Since I never had anything to blame you for."  
He kissed then inside of Kiryu's thigh. He'd left a hickey there, once. "Will you fuck me?"  
"I will."

So Crow stood, kissing Kiryu again, softer and less intrusive this time. He allowed them to fall back against the bed, and Kiryu fumbled in his dresser draw for the lube, not wanting to extract himself from Crow. He was already hard again, the feeling of Crow's kisses, and the feather-light touchers he traced around his body, Kiryu wondered how many times they'd do it tonight. It had been a while.  
He found it, but he didn't pop the cap just yet. He was perfectly happy to just _be_ with Crow, the only other human being he'd ever trusted, ever loved. He could never be naked around anyone else. He could never act so daring, so without fear of failure, with anyone else. He'd never be aroused by anyone else; not the same way he was with Crow. He pulled away to breathe. "C-Crow…?"  
"Yeah?"  
They were both panting. "You should've just abandoned me."  
Crow started at him. "I did that once. I'll never forgive myself for it; it was the biggest mistake of my life."  
"I forgive you."  
"I'm glad one of us does."  
Kiryu popped the cap on the lube, slicking Crow's entrance, making Crow push against him a little. Would it be the same as he remembered? Or… better? Crow looked like he hadn't fucked in a while. He was probably a bit tight from all the lack of attention. A single finger was all he inserted, and Crow gasped against his lips. "Been a while, huh?"  
"Y-yeah." I haven't really had any since you…" He trailed off.  
Kiryu paused. "That's nearly three years, Crow."  
Crow grinned, although it looked a little pained. "Yeah. I know. But I wasn't ready to move on."  
Part of Kiryu was glad he hadn't moved on. Maybe he wouldn't have come after him if he had. Besides, Kiryu really didn't like the idea of Crow being with someone else.  
He established a smooth rhythm, sliding In and nearly completely out, slowly. Crow panted and whined, for lack of a better phrase, like a dog on heat, and Kiryu pumped himself a few times with his free hand.  
Two fingers now, unexpected and sharp intrusion but oh god so good and so _tight_. Kiryu kissed him, their tongues wrestling for dominance. Kiryu scissored him, and Crow moaned into his lover, and Kiryu just swallowed it down. Crow gripped at his hair, his hands shaking a little, but he never once said 'stop'. He did look close to tears, though. Maybe…  
He slowed, and Crow hissed through his teeth. "Don't stop, Kiryu. Don't you dare stop."  
"But…"  
"I'll take it."  
He couldn't ignore an order, not a direct one like that. He scraped his teeth across the shell of Crow's ear. "Hey, aren't _I _usually the leader?"  
Crow laughed, but it sounded a little strained, and he pushed back against his fingers.  
"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying." Kiryu slicked his dick, pushing against Crow's tight entrance. "Ready?"  
He could feel Crow's fingernails digging into his shoulders as he gripped them. "Uh-huh."  
The first thrust was not exactly gentle. He pushed in a far as he could at once and Crow screamed in pain and pleasure. Kiryu kissed him again, going from a deep kiss to sloppy little pecks as they both struggled to deal with the awesome feeling. Crow was hot and tight and ohsogood. He honestly didn't _mean _to tense as soon as Kiryu entered him, the lack of practice had made him a little more sensitive, but it didn't matter. He wrapped a hand around Crow's dick, which hadn't received any attention at all that night. He waited, jerking him off while he was buried inside him, waiting for the go-ahead from Crow.  
Crow, who threw his head back and swore, exposing his sensitive neck to Kiryu's probing lash of a tongue. "Move." He demanded. No, he _pleaded_. It was a bit of both.  
Kiryu drew out almost completely again, and Crow was a little more prepared this time when he thrust back in, repeating it before he got a smooth pace going, and Crow couldn't help it, but his breath hitched and his lower lip wobbled dangerously. "So _good, _Kiryu, _Kiryu, Kiryu, Kiryu_-"  
The whole 'death god' thing had actually made Crow laugh. But now he was chanting his name like it _was _a gods. He leaned his head against Kiryu's shoulder, and he knew that Crow could no longer contain his tears. "Fuck, Kiryu, Kiryu, Kiryu, missed you so much Kiryu, missed you, never allowed to leave me again." Crow whispered, and Kiryu couldn't help but agree.  
He tilted Crow's head back and kissed him again, but it was wet and careless and he slicked his tongue over Crow's lips, and kissed his tears, and, "I love you, Crow."  
"I love you, too, Kiryu. Fuck, god, so much."  
Crow came, the reaction forcing his hips down a little more. Kiryu pumped his hips a few more times, but the feeling of Crow tightening around him while he orgasmed was just too much. He came inside Crow.  
Crow wiped his eyes while Kiryu cleaned up. –There would be no mention of his tears later, which was fine. Crow was just so self-sufficient and strong, it was hard to imagine him crying.  
But he did cry sometimes. Only Kiryu, and maybe Yusei knew about it. He just needed to be cuddled every once in a while. He was the 'little spoon'.  
"Kiryu?"  
Kiryu smiled at him, pulling the blanket up over them. "It's late, huh?"  
Crow nodded. "Yeah. But I don't wanna sleep yet."  
"That's fine." He looped his arms around Crow's waist, pulling him close.  
They were both quiet for a while. Crow _was _actually tired. Kiryu was exhausted. But they couldn't sleep. "Kiryu?" He repeated.  
"Hm?"  
Although he sounded hesitant, Crow looked up at Kiryu. "Do you remember what it was like… _before_?"  
Before, huh? If Crow had asked him that an hour ago, Kiryu would have told him that _no_, he didn't remember before. He'd repressed most of those things.  
"Yeah, I remember what it was like before."

They'd had such an easy and open relationship. As soon as Kiryu joined their small circle of friends, Crow had eyes only for him. He admitted to his crush three weeks after they'd first met, and, weirdly enough, Kiryu had just grinned and tussled his hair. "Of course you like me!" He joked, faking conceitedness. "You're not the first, Crow."  
It was only another week before Kiryu had admitted that yeah, he might've liked Crow too. (It was the most confusing and heart-wrenching week of Crow's life.)  
So they were going out, and everything was perfect.  
'Exploration' of each other quickly became an important part in their relationship. They'd kiss, which would lead to making out, which eventually lead to letting their hands roam.  
Kiryu might have boasted and _acted_ experienced, but they first time Crow had let him touch him, through his pants, was the first time he'd ever actually… _done that_.  
In return, he'd let Crow feel him up too, and it made him way more excited than he'd ever openly admit. Pretty soon, discovering each other became an regular thing.  
Kiryu liked to slip his hands up Crow's shirt, feel the toned, smooth muscles, because _damn _his boyfriend had abs. But even when these.. _explorations _became a regular thing, they seldom allowed themselves to touch each other down _there_, still too shy and early to do too much. But when they _did_ allow their hands to venture downwards, it was stimulating.  
They were just a couple of horny teenagers, and this kind of thing was normal.  
It wasn't long before they were discarding shirts, because it was easier that way, and Kiryu liked to litter his boyfriend's collarbone with hickeys.  
Then one day, they were making out in Crow's favourite place, in the very top floor of an abandoned building, which Kiryu had jokingly dubbed, "The Love Nest", just to make fun of Crow.  
As usual, their shirts were gone before they'd even started, and they were both quite eager to start the little explorations of each other's bodies again.  
Kiryu, feeling particularly bold that day, trailed his hand over the bulge in Crow's jeans, cupping it and rubbing it until a wet patch appeared on the fabric.  
Crow bit his lip. He looked almost… ashamed.  
Some people, Kiryu knew, felt cheapened by their first sexual experiences. So he guided Crow's hand down to his own crotch and begged for it like a slut until Crow made him come in his own pants.  
It was certainly a _great _feeling, but neither of them were really sure what they were doing was… _right_.  
Despite that, touching each other's dicks became something they both longed to do more often. Kiryu had shamefully admitted to himself that the look of pure bliss on Crow's face when he touched him gave him shivers. He didn't want to rush anything, but whenever he thought he could get away with it, Kiryu began rubbing Crow through the rough fabric of his jeans. Crow would whine and buck his hips a little, so he clearly enjoyed it.  
But their orgasms always came with little feelings or shame, and they didn't end up telling the others that they were together. As far as Jack and Yusei were concerned, Crow and Kiryu were wandering off together to look for parts for their D-Wheels.

He was barely conscious of what he was doing, but one day, Kiryu undid Crow's fly and slipped his hand under the waistband of his boxers, touching him completely.  
Skin to skin contact felt much, much better. Crow gasped, bucking into his fist, and Kiryu watched, transfixed, as he writhed and squirmed, panting until he came.  
Pulling his hand back, Kiryu looked at Crow, who hung his head. But it didn't stop them. They didn't _want _to stop.  
No one had ever explained to either of them about that kind of stuff. They both knew what sex was, but they'd never really had anyone to give them 'The Talk.'  
Martha probably would have, but Crow was never around enough, he'd never paid enough attention. By the time he was old enough to be taught sex education, he was already out of the house most of the time, stealing to provide for the kids.  
So he just had no idea. It felt shameful, but oh so good.  
What Kiryu really wanted was for Crow to pay some attention to him, for once, and when he asked a blushing Crow to do that, he complied. Crow was far more shy about it, it took him awhile to slip his hand down and feel Kiryu up while they made out. Kiryu came quicker, too. Lack of attention had made him horny.  
They kept this up, until one day, before they knew it, they were having sex. They hadn't really meant to. Things had just escalated; one good feeling led to another and suddenly Crow was clinging him and with watery eyes. It hurt, but it was such an unbelievably blissful feeling.  
It took them both a second, but they realized what had happened. What was _happening_.  
Crow looked at him, and said, "Please don't stop."  
So he didn't.  
Actually, Kiryu couldn't really work out why they wasted their time doing anything _but _having sex.  
Eventually, Crow had confessed to Martha on a visit, when she asked him why he looked so down.  
Jack and Yusei weren't surprised; they could pretend all they wanted, but it was blatantly obvious that they were together, Martha agreed.  
So Crow asked Martha if they could talk alone for a bit, and he dragged a very awkward looking Kiryu to an empty room and explained everything to his foster mother while Kiryu looked out that window at some imaginary distraction. Crow didn't give her too many details, but he did tell her about the 'Exploring', the feeling of shame, and the fact that he'd had sex for the first time only the night before. To his horror, Martha made a joke about 'Wondering why Crow couldn't sit straight'. He punched Kiryu when he sniggered.  
Although both boys found it very embarrassing, Martha calmly explained that what they were doing was alright. She called it 'Natural'. She said they were cute together. She asked Crow what he wanted for dinner. Jack, who was eavesdropping, helpfully suggested a few sites on the internet that they could check out together if they needed ideas. (Needless to say, when they _did_ check them out, Crow was suddenly forced to wonder just _how much_ Jack knew about gay porn.)  
After that, everything was perfect. Hell, in a matter of weeks, they'd already progressed to some kinkier stuff. (with the help of Jack's websites.)  
It was good to rid themselves of that feeling of shame. They set up a bed in The Love Nest, since doing it on the floor actually seemed a little cheap. (They didn't regret it the first time, though. No, no regrets about that.)  
Crow became bolder. He fucked Kiryu a couple of times, but they both found they preferred it the other way round. (Crow was more vocal, anyway.) He became used to more… public affection.  
He even let Kiryu tie him up and take photos once. (He never allowed the camera, but Kiryu took advantage of slipping his headband over his eyes. Crow let him keep the pictures, which was sort of like letting him take them.)  
They rarely fought. They had sex on Yusei's bed, then disappeared without offering to wash the sheets. Only a month later, they formed Team Satisfaction.  
A week after that, Crow told Kiryu he loved him for the first time. Like when he'd asked him out, it took Kiryu nearly a week to work up the guts to say it back. Kiryu developed a liking for dirty talk.  
Everything was perfect.  
Then Kiryu had ruined it.

"It wasn't-" Crow began, but he stopped himself. It was Kiryu's fault, but not really. "I forgive you." He said instead, nuzzling closer to Kiryu. It was quite cold outside the blanket now. Winter was always great for sleeping together, Kiryu remembered.  
"-If you can forgive me for abandoning you."  
Kiryu gave him a side-long look. "You didn't abandon me, Crow." He opened his mouth to speak, but instead Kiryu leaned forward and gave him a kiss. "You came to the prison nearly every day to try and persuade them to let you visit me. They wouldn't allow 'visits', from the start. No treats for bad boys, you know." He winked at Crow, who suddenly flushed. "Just a visit, you begged. You just wanted to see me, just wanted to be with me. You loved me, you said. After half a year of pestering, that woman, who is possibly the only decent sector security officer, looked up my cell number and said she'd take you to see me for ten minutes. That we might even have been able to hold hands, if you kept your mouth shut. But when she looked up my cell, it was recorded as empty. That usually meant that the occupant had died, and their corpse had been disposed of. Remember how sincere she looked when she apologised? We should do something nice for her. What was he name again-?"  
Crow couldn't look him in the eye. "Amanda. Yeah, she was… she was nice."  
"That ten minutes might have saved me, Crow." He told him. "It might have encouraged me to be good and reform so I could finally come out and see you again. Holding hands would have been nice. But I was already gone by then. I don't blame you. I blame those bastards that wouldn't let you in to see me sooner. And I blame myself for getting locked up in the first place."  
Crow pressed himself close to Kiryu, tiredly rubbing his eyes. The fatigue was starting to hit him. "But I blame myself. I could have… done something."  
"You blame yourself because you had no one else to blame." Kiryu guessed. "Don't. It's all on the past now."  
"I love you."  
"I know, Crow. I love you too."

At first, when he woke up in the morning, it didn't strike Crow as odd that he was alone. He was so used to waking up alone after nearly three years of not having Kiryu.  
That fact that he was naked was weird, but not usual.  
He was in Kiryu's bed. Yeah, that was pretty questionable.  
As he became awake, (and his muscles screamed in protest) he suddenly realized that, yes, he was alone. He panicked, thinking Kiryu had run off on him again.  
He pulled on some boxers, mostly just in case Nico or West were there. He checked the bathroom, then tripped into the lounge and then the kitchen, _hoping _that Kiryu was still there.  
He was, also in nothing but his boxers. Cooking breakfast. "Good Morning." He said quietly, smiling at Crow, who stood silent and open-mouthed for a moment.  
"I did not know you could cook." He admitted slowly.  
Kiryu shrugged. "I can cook bacon. Your mom taught me how to cook scrambled eggs. It's kinda hard to mess up toast- I've done it before, but still…" He trailed off, and Crow had to laugh at the thought of his tough-guy, death-god boyfriend standing next to Martha in the kitchen with an apron on.  
The thought of him in the kitchen with Crow with nothing _but_ the apron on was much more appealing. –His laughter seemed to lighten the mood, and he took a seat at the table.  
"How are you?" Kiryu asked.  
He grinned. "Sore. You were a little rough last night."  
Kiryu placed two plates on the table. "Sorry."  
"Not at all. I enjoyed it." Crow teased, leaning over to steal some food from Kiryu's plate.  
"Hey, you have your own!"  
"I'd rather share."  
They ate in silence for a while. It wasn't awkward; it was quite a comfortable silence. Content. They made light conversation about what they were planning to do that day- Crow was going to go visit his kids at some point that week- and just casual stuff like they normally did.  
Except in their underwear.  
Kiryu wiped his mouth. "Before anything, we both need to bathe. No offense Crow, but you smell like sweaty gay sex."  
"None taken." Crow slid Kiryu's half-full plate over to his side of the table, finishing it. He didn't bother to ask, Kiryu never ate much at all. "We should have a bath together."  
Kiryu peered at him. "Can things really go back to normal that easily, Crow?"  
Crow rested his head on his hand. "Only if you're willing to let it."  
He grabbed Kiryu's hand, dragging him to the bathroom where he drew a bath and stripped off.  
Kiryu joined him. Years ago, he'd thought everything was perfect. But no, _this _was perfection.  
"Your hair is getting very long, Kiryu." Crow remarked. "Does it take a long time to look after?"  
Kiryu dipped under the water for a second, drawing his wet hair back out of his face. "No longer than yours." He reminded him. "Although yours is a great deal _stranger." _

For some reason, Crow found that funny. His laughter echoed around the little bathroom.


End file.
